Let The Hoe Be Your Friend...Garden!

"In the Spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."

M. Atwood

Can you believe I used to be "That Girl?" The Girl that did not, no matter what, go outside. I had a dislike for most activities done outside, except playing Baseball with my cousins. I remember my mother going through her earthy, crunchy faze when we lived in Oregon and I was forced( yeah, I use dramatic language like that!:)to camp, fish and actually eat food outside! I shudder to remember it. For years, for me, outside equaled bugs and dirt. I never understood the whole walking barefoot thing! Not even in your own backyard. And what is that in your hand? A Spade? What does it do? When I had children, I would take them to the park, beach, walking and then rush home to wash that dirty outside off of them😀! Just a little germaphobia going on. Don't be afraid. What changed my twisted attitude? Life. 

"Never underestimate the healing power of a quiet moment in the garden."

I was sick. So sick my Body was stripped of its strength and vitality. So sick that I couldn't move, physically or mentally. I was scared and sad and all those other adjectives that mean sick/sad/scared(those are a lot of S's!)and I was succumbing to that deep abyss of depression and anger. For a long time I couldn't make it down the stairs to get outside. But when I could, my Eldest daughter, gently, suggested I go outside to get some Vitamin D. "Sit, Mama" She said. "The Sun will help you feel better." And it did. Then I looked at my front yard and I got this crazy idea to have a big Wildflower patch. See, I had tried this before, but like I explained to you in the beginning, Dawn don't do outside. My idea of "gardening" was boxes of Wildflower mixes that you buy from Family Dollar, a glass of champagne in one hand, and toss the seeds all over, give em' a Texas burial, done. I was serious this time. I had a goal. I had a purpose. 

"If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need."

I can't agree with this more. 

I used to listen to people talk about gardening and the look on their faces was always of peace. I understood the feeling, but I had never found it outside. My places of peace was always the gym or the library. Now I get it. I step outside and whatever angst I was feeling, gone. I used a hoe for the first time in my life this Summer! One of my Clients(a FABULOUS Gardener herself!)taught me. My Ex-husband looked at me with hoe in hand, floppy sun hat on, and said "It's official, YOU are old!" I had just enough time to tell him to shut-up before I got back to weeding. Peace reigns supreme when surrounded by nature. Me and the bugs understand each other. They stay off of me, thanks to Bounce sheets and OFF and I stay respectful and don't kill them in their home. Pruning(yeah, I say words like that now:), I disturbed a deep green spider. It took my breath away. Gardening requires patience, not one of my strong points, but I have gotten so much better. There is healing in patience and kindness. There is healing in just sitting outside with your own thoughts, allowing the beauty of nature to wash over you. There is healing. Wishing you all love and peace...but mostly, Peace. 

Grace

Driving this early morning to get to work, I was not in the best of moods. I was running late and running on empty. Sleep is like a long lost friend lately and the cold is like a family member that came to visit and now won't go home. This was my morning start, scrambling for Time, we all know that never works. As I'm driving down the highway, I'm in my head and I turn to look left and there is a sight that takes my breath away. The Sun had decided to put on a show. Peeking through the gray clouds came the Suns rays, but instead of the rays being a white light, they were pinkish white. Turning the clouds around this beautiful beam of light pink and gray. There is no way for me to give you a perfect visual, moments like this should always come with a picture! It's like trying to describe the Grand Canyon, you have to see it to believe it or it just sounds like a big hole. These are the moments we will miss if we are constantly in our heads.  Moments of pure Grace and beauty.  When we should be saying Thank you, instead of "I have this to pay, this to do and everything feels like a burden." Those things are going to be there and they don't have to be a burden! I don't search for Grace; it usually comes to me when I am distressed, harassed or grouchy. It is a soft smack against my head to remind me to pay attention to what is around me: The good, be aware of the bad and the ugly, but focus on the good. The old adage, Count your Blessings, is appropriately used here and I hope you are counting.  Even when we feel low, count what is good in your Life. My personal belief is that we all have to be open to the idea of feeling good and then be willing to accept it when it comes to us. Be: Ready, willing and able to accept Grace in all its forms. 
Peace and Love, but mostly Peace.