Tuesday, March 12, 2019
Sunday, March 10, 2019
What Do You Believe?
"The sooner you decide it's alright to believe the opposite of what the masses do, and that it is alright to trust the Universe, and you choose to be happy rather than right, the sooner you will be happy."
How often have we listened and believed what others have said about us? Even when we put up a front("I don't care what people say!")sometimes what people say will get under our skin, causing doubt and unhappiness. This is just a reminder that people have the right to their opinions, but their opinions have nothing to do with you. Once your mind is made up and you are secure in your divine right to live your life, does it really matter what others say? Unless you make it matter. Learn to trust your own thoughts and opinions. Learn to trust what you feel and what you know is right for you, without the imput of others. Isn't it funny how we second guess ourselves? Sometimes this is due to how we were raised. Or we might have had a series of bad events that has broken our confidence in ourselves. Whatever the reason, we have to get our confidence and then build it. How do you do this? By living your life. Making decisions and sticking to them. Stop defending your decisions to others and apologizing for making them. It is our divine right to be happy. It is our divine right to be at peace, to have inner-peace & to feel fabulous! Wishing you all peace and love...but mostly Peace.
Sunday, February 3, 2019
What's Your Definition?
"When you judge me without knowing me, you don't define me, you define yourself."
Goodvibe
I had a whole blog written in my head. I knew exactly what I was going to say and then I had an epiphany. I hate when I have epiphanies that ruin my best-laid plan(s)! I was going to write about how I define myself and how defining yourself doesn't necessarily mean "blocking" yourself in. Blah, blah, blah...Then I had an epiphany about myself that would have made me a hypocrite if I would have written what I was going to write. It all started after reading a Tweet from someone that I didn't agree with and the debate, regarding that tweet, with my Eldest daughter that ensued. I have never lied to myself about my faults(or I have tried not to)I don't pretend to be on a "higher plane" than everyone else or a person that walks around calling herself an "empath" or "Healer." Can you dub yourself these things? And am I the only one sick of people calling themselves this? (insert eye roll) I do suffer from impatience and this has been a thorn in my side since, well...forever. But with all of my obvious imperfections, I did believe I was a great Instructor or teacher if you will. WRONG! Not only am I a Gaw-awful teacher, I expect people to know certain things by a certain age! This horrible epiphany has ruined my wonderful illusion about myself! This tweet, from a woman asking to be educated about Black History Month and Historic Black People, rubbed me the wrong way. Why? Because in my world, I was raised to know things about other peoples Culture. And by a certain age, I do expect you to be well read enough to where you don't expect me to be your "Cultural Mammy." I know that Google exists! You don't even have to leave your home anymore to go to the library! As a child, I was told to read about everything and everyone. As my Mama would say "Only fools speak about what they don't know" and I never wanted to be seen as a plum fool, so I read. It is arrogance to expect anyone, of any culture, to break down their cumulative history in...tweets? To give a quick summary for your benefit because you are unwilling to learn on your own. By the way, I shan't do that for anyone. To know your history and the history of others is to know yourself. So, yes, my Daughter is right, I have no patience(Duh!)and I am not a good teacher. She said except for Personal Training and Group Fitness. Thank you! So, my definition of Self has changed and I am humble enough to acknowledge it. I shall leave you with a word of advice: Be aware of the differences around you. Respect them. And if you can't or are unwilling to do that, be quiet. No one knows a fool is a fool until they speak(or Tweet!). Wishing you peace and love, but mostly, Peace.
Goodvibe
I had a whole blog written in my head. I knew exactly what I was going to say and then I had an epiphany. I hate when I have epiphanies that ruin my best-laid plan(s)! I was going to write about how I define myself and how defining yourself doesn't necessarily mean "blocking" yourself in. Blah, blah, blah...Then I had an epiphany about myself that would have made me a hypocrite if I would have written what I was going to write. It all started after reading a Tweet from someone that I didn't agree with and the debate, regarding that tweet, with my Eldest daughter that ensued. I have never lied to myself about my faults(or I have tried not to)I don't pretend to be on a "higher plane" than everyone else or a person that walks around calling herself an "empath" or "Healer." Can you dub yourself these things? And am I the only one sick of people calling themselves this? (insert eye roll) I do suffer from impatience and this has been a thorn in my side since, well...forever. But with all of my obvious imperfections, I did believe I was a great Instructor or teacher if you will. WRONG! Not only am I a Gaw-awful teacher, I expect people to know certain things by a certain age! This horrible epiphany has ruined my wonderful illusion about myself! This tweet, from a woman asking to be educated about Black History Month and Historic Black People, rubbed me the wrong way. Why? Because in my world, I was raised to know things about other peoples Culture. And by a certain age, I do expect you to be well read enough to where you don't expect me to be your "Cultural Mammy." I know that Google exists! You don't even have to leave your home anymore to go to the library! As a child, I was told to read about everything and everyone. As my Mama would say "Only fools speak about what they don't know" and I never wanted to be seen as a plum fool, so I read. It is arrogance to expect anyone, of any culture, to break down their cumulative history in...tweets? To give a quick summary for your benefit because you are unwilling to learn on your own. By the way, I shan't do that for anyone. To know your history and the history of others is to know yourself. So, yes, my Daughter is right, I have no patience(Duh!)and I am not a good teacher. She said except for Personal Training and Group Fitness. Thank you! So, my definition of Self has changed and I am humble enough to acknowledge it. I shall leave you with a word of advice: Be aware of the differences around you. Respect them. And if you can't or are unwilling to do that, be quiet. No one knows a fool is a fool until they speak(or Tweet!). Wishing you peace and love, but mostly, Peace.
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
There's No Easy Way, But it Must be Done...Forgive.
Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved hard and could hold a grudge even harder. Cross me once, I look the other way. Cross me twice, I got one eye on you! Three times, DONE! Now some people would say "Well! Dawn, that's the way it should be!" and maybe depending on the insult or injury, we have the right to cut people off. But! When you say "I'm done!" are you really? I can only speak for myself, I wasn't. (Insert gavel sound from "Law & Order) I've been judged people and found lacking, at least I admit it!
"Step by step. Day by day."
This is a big subject, forgiveness. Everyone has a different approach as to how this is done. But we can all agree that it starts with self - forgiveness, the hardest to achieve. Do you know the old adage "When you point a finger, you have three pointing back at you." sometimes when we have been hurt we blame ourselves. We will be angry that our response wasn't what we thought it should have been. "Why did I allow them to do that to me?" "Why didn't I fight back!?" Then we allow anger and bitterness to take over. Then that dark, spiral downward. Is there anything we can do to help ourselves? Yes! 1. Don't expect perfection from yourself or from others. 2. Be patient and kind to yourself. 3. Associate with people who are encouraging and positive. Do you really need more negativity in your life? 4. See your patterns. Learn from them and if they cause you pain, don't repeat! It isn't easy, so get ready to work.
What does it All Mean?
Forgiveness- Pardoning an offender and letting go of anger, resentment, and thoughts of revenge.
I used to read this and only see the pardoning part and my head would almost explode! I would rage at the thought of letting go of my anger and letting people "off the hook." If I forgave wasn't that condoning what they did? No. Pardoning doesn't condone, minimize the wrongdoing or behaving as if it didn't happen. It just means you are willing to let it go to not only have a loving personal relationship with yourself, but with other people. If you have read my blogs, you know that I write a lot about the Mind/Body Connection . What does being unforgiving do to us mentally and physically? Causes depression, anxiety, higher risk of ill health. Sometimes we become so focused on all the wrong, that we have no happiness. Loneliness, isolation and well, just sad. We can allow this need for revenge to consume us and nothing good comes from it. Don't just take my word for it, do your research. Have a clear picture of who you need to forgive, including yourself. Write a list of the injury, real or perceived and when you are ready, write a letter to them, send it or not. I wrote my letters, some I sent and some I wrote and burned. Yup! I had a little burning party. That might be a little dramatic for you, giggle, but still write the letters and release the pain. "I lovingly release the past. They are free and I am free. All is well in my world." an Affirmation by Louise L. Hay People, I am not saying this is easy. Even reading that affirmation, you might get angry and that's okay. That means you have work to do and baby steps are required. Forgiveness, self or toward others, doesn't happen in a day. I will wrap this up by saying, clearly, come closer...forgiveness is for you. Forgive for your growth, for self-love, self-worth, empathy and compassion for yourself. Wishing you all love and peace...but mostly, peace.
"Step by step. Day by day."
This is a big subject, forgiveness. Everyone has a different approach as to how this is done. But we can all agree that it starts with self - forgiveness, the hardest to achieve. Do you know the old adage "When you point a finger, you have three pointing back at you." sometimes when we have been hurt we blame ourselves. We will be angry that our response wasn't what we thought it should have been. "Why did I allow them to do that to me?" "Why didn't I fight back!?" Then we allow anger and bitterness to take over. Then that dark, spiral downward. Is there anything we can do to help ourselves? Yes! 1. Don't expect perfection from yourself or from others. 2. Be patient and kind to yourself. 3. Associate with people who are encouraging and positive. Do you really need more negativity in your life? 4. See your patterns. Learn from them and if they cause you pain, don't repeat! It isn't easy, so get ready to work.
What does it All Mean?
Forgiveness- Pardoning an offender and letting go of anger, resentment, and thoughts of revenge.
I used to read this and only see the pardoning part and my head would almost explode! I would rage at the thought of letting go of my anger and letting people "off the hook." If I forgave wasn't that condoning what they did? No. Pardoning doesn't condone, minimize the wrongdoing or behaving as if it didn't happen. It just means you are willing to let it go to not only have a loving personal relationship with yourself, but with other people. If you have read my blogs, you know that I write a lot about the Mind/Body Connection . What does being unforgiving do to us mentally and physically? Causes depression, anxiety, higher risk of ill health. Sometimes we become so focused on all the wrong, that we have no happiness. Loneliness, isolation and well, just sad. We can allow this need for revenge to consume us and nothing good comes from it. Don't just take my word for it, do your research. Have a clear picture of who you need to forgive, including yourself. Write a list of the injury, real or perceived and when you are ready, write a letter to them, send it or not. I wrote my letters, some I sent and some I wrote and burned. Yup! I had a little burning party. That might be a little dramatic for you, giggle, but still write the letters and release the pain. "I lovingly release the past. They are free and I am free. All is well in my world." an Affirmation by Louise L. Hay People, I am not saying this is easy. Even reading that affirmation, you might get angry and that's okay. That means you have work to do and baby steps are required. Forgiveness, self or toward others, doesn't happen in a day. I will wrap this up by saying, clearly, come closer...forgiveness is for you. Forgive for your growth, for self-love, self-worth, empathy and compassion for yourself. Wishing you all love and peace...but mostly, peace.
Saturday, September 1, 2018
The Face to Face
. "You will never see eye-to-eye if you never meet face-to-face.” - Warren Buffett, Chairman, and CEO, Berkshire Hathaway
I was told that I need to step into the Twenty-First Century. That my ways are a bit antiquated and backward. By the way, when they said this they meant well, in a backhanded compliment kind of way. I'm the person that still keeps an agenda. Yes! a real paper one! I never use my cell phone for that. I am the person that still responds to emails, texts, and phone calls. And! I still have a, wait for it, a LAND LINE! (Did you run, screaming from your room?) This is where I am REALLY sick... I still have face to face meetings with people. A new or prospective client will always get the face to face consultation. Always.
“The only thing worse than a social networking junkie who breaks out in a cold sweat if she hasn't updated her page in the past 10 seconds is the person (usually it's a guy) who proudly refuses to join Facebook. You know, that same d-bag who held out on getting a cell phone until, like, 2002.” – Andrea Lavinthal, author
Yeah, I'm that D-bag that didn't get a cell phone until 2007! My best friend forced me to do it and even put me on her plan, just to make sure I wouldn't throw the annoying device in the trash. It's grown on me. And so has Social Media. Like the cell phone, I had to be forced into it. My Son created all of my Social Media pages. "Mama! You need them for business!" insert frustrated Son voice. I will admit I have learned a lot from so many different people on Social Media. Using it for business is helpful in ways I couldn't imagine. I also think it has created the idea that you don't have to talk to people and learn the art of schmoozing.
"Schmoozing is an analog, contact sport. You can’t do it alone from your office on the phone or via a computer"
There is a great article that I think every entrepreneur and maybe even the business person that has been at it for a while, just as a refresher course. The article is called "Improve your people skills: Learn the Lost Art of the "Schmooze" by Ivan Widjaya
I do think that we all, to a certain degree, depend a little too much on Social Media to build our business. Wrong move! You might call me crazy(wouldn't be the first time) but get to those seminars, workshops, and conventions! Shake hands, meet and greet, hand out your business card, listen, learn, talk! Go to the parties(they are usually a blast!) Be open and receptive and you might even be shocked at how many people will respond to you in kind. If you are shy and talking to people face to face causes you to erupt in hives, go easy on yourself. Take baby steps. One of my Clients who started her own business but is quite shy would meet people in the place she was most comfortable, the local Starbucks and it worked! I set goals and find the balance between using Social Media and the meet and greet and that works for me. I want to build my brand but the idea of being online for hours makes my head hurt. Find what works for you and then add something new, utilize it all! Wishing you peace and love, but mostly Peace.
I was told that I need to step into the Twenty-First Century. That my ways are a bit antiquated and backward. By the way, when they said this they meant well, in a backhanded compliment kind of way. I'm the person that still keeps an agenda. Yes! a real paper one! I never use my cell phone for that. I am the person that still responds to emails, texts, and phone calls. And! I still have a, wait for it, a LAND LINE! (Did you run, screaming from your room?) This is where I am REALLY sick... I still have face to face meetings with people. A new or prospective client will always get the face to face consultation. Always.
“The only thing worse than a social networking junkie who breaks out in a cold sweat if she hasn't updated her page in the past 10 seconds is the person (usually it's a guy) who proudly refuses to join Facebook. You know, that same d-bag who held out on getting a cell phone until, like, 2002.” – Andrea Lavinthal, author
Yeah, I'm that D-bag that didn't get a cell phone until 2007! My best friend forced me to do it and even put me on her plan, just to make sure I wouldn't throw the annoying device in the trash. It's grown on me. And so has Social Media. Like the cell phone, I had to be forced into it. My Son created all of my Social Media pages. "Mama! You need them for business!" insert frustrated Son voice. I will admit I have learned a lot from so many different people on Social Media. Using it for business is helpful in ways I couldn't imagine. I also think it has created the idea that you don't have to talk to people and learn the art of schmoozing.
"Schmoozing is an analog, contact sport. You can’t do it alone from your office on the phone or via a computer"
There is a great article that I think every entrepreneur and maybe even the business person that has been at it for a while, just as a refresher course. The article is called "Improve your people skills: Learn the Lost Art of the "Schmooze" by Ivan Widjaya
I do think that we all, to a certain degree, depend a little too much on Social Media to build our business. Wrong move! You might call me crazy(wouldn't be the first time) but get to those seminars, workshops, and conventions! Shake hands, meet and greet, hand out your business card, listen, learn, talk! Go to the parties(they are usually a blast!) Be open and receptive and you might even be shocked at how many people will respond to you in kind. If you are shy and talking to people face to face causes you to erupt in hives, go easy on yourself. Take baby steps. One of my Clients who started her own business but is quite shy would meet people in the place she was most comfortable, the local Starbucks and it worked! I set goals and find the balance between using Social Media and the meet and greet and that works for me. I want to build my brand but the idea of being online for hours makes my head hurt. Find what works for you and then add something new, utilize it all! Wishing you peace and love, but mostly Peace.
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
I Love Myself Therefore...
"Only surround yourself with people that will lift you higher."
Oprah Winfrey
I love this quote from Ms. O(that's what I call her in my head...Don't judge:) It has helped me so much. When I feel myself backsliding into old behaviors and allowing people back into my life that have not helped me, only hindered me, I remember this quote. It isn't easy to let go of people or certain situations. But remember; all habits can be changed! It takes diligence, perseverance, but most importantly: Self-Love. How many ways can I harp on this(How many times have I already harped on this!? lol)I don't think enough! Do you or have you written a list of how many ways and WHY you love yourself? Do you focus only on the negative things going on in your life? Past and present? Do you have a hard time giving yourself compliments? Or even accepting compliments? If you said yes to any of these questions there is work to be done! And believe me, the work never ends. I don't say this in a negative way or that being kind and positive to oneself is a burden. But, it IS an ongoing obligation. That word tends to have negative connotations, it shouldn't. Obligation- Being morally or legally bound. Responsibility. A moral imperative. Shall I go on? It is our responsibility to be kind to ourselves. To love and protect ourselves. It is morally correct and it is our Divine right to be happy and loved...does this sound like a burden now? Nah! So, today is the day that you wake up and utter those magical words: "I love myself, therefore..." and list why. I will start you off! I love doing this! 1. I love myself, therefore: I will work hard to stay away from negative people. This will be hard in certain situations, especially if you are known as "The Listener." Everyone comes to you with their problems and you might be honored by this. But, what are you getting from this? Do you feel drained? Used? Are you able to go to these people with your problems? This segues into... 2. I love myself, therefore: I will create boundaries. For yourself and for others. Never forget, we are in control of how people treat us and they treat us how we treat ourselves. 3. I love myself, therefore: I will treat myself well. This is fun! Treat yourself. A new book(my personal fave.)an hour alone, get to know yourself. What do you love to do? Would you like to take a fun class somewhere? Take the time and find out. 4. I love myself, therefore: I will take care of my "house" aka my Body. We get one! Take time with it. Compliment yourself with sincerity. Be your best hype Man/Woman! Here are a few things to compliment yourself about: I have a perfect butt! Dang! I am smart! I LOVE MY THIGHS!! I love being kind...so many wonderful things to say about yourself. Why stop at just a few? You don't have to! Give yourself compliments all day. Along with gratitude & thanksgiving, watch your world change. Be excited! Be happy! There are a lot of exclamation points going on here! lol. I just want you to know what I already know...That you are worthy of love, joy, and happiness. It's all up to you. Wishing you Love and Peace...but mostly peace.
Oprah Winfrey
I love this quote from Ms. O(that's what I call her in my head...Don't judge:) It has helped me so much. When I feel myself backsliding into old behaviors and allowing people back into my life that have not helped me, only hindered me, I remember this quote. It isn't easy to let go of people or certain situations. But remember; all habits can be changed! It takes diligence, perseverance, but most importantly: Self-Love. How many ways can I harp on this(How many times have I already harped on this!? lol)I don't think enough! Do you or have you written a list of how many ways and WHY you love yourself? Do you focus only on the negative things going on in your life? Past and present? Do you have a hard time giving yourself compliments? Or even accepting compliments? If you said yes to any of these questions there is work to be done! And believe me, the work never ends. I don't say this in a negative way or that being kind and positive to oneself is a burden. But, it IS an ongoing obligation. That word tends to have negative connotations, it shouldn't. Obligation- Being morally or legally bound. Responsibility. A moral imperative. Shall I go on? It is our responsibility to be kind to ourselves. To love and protect ourselves. It is morally correct and it is our Divine right to be happy and loved...does this sound like a burden now? Nah! So, today is the day that you wake up and utter those magical words: "I love myself, therefore..." and list why. I will start you off! I love doing this! 1. I love myself, therefore: I will work hard to stay away from negative people. This will be hard in certain situations, especially if you are known as "The Listener." Everyone comes to you with their problems and you might be honored by this. But, what are you getting from this? Do you feel drained? Used? Are you able to go to these people with your problems? This segues into... 2. I love myself, therefore: I will create boundaries. For yourself and for others. Never forget, we are in control of how people treat us and they treat us how we treat ourselves. 3. I love myself, therefore: I will treat myself well. This is fun! Treat yourself. A new book(my personal fave.)an hour alone, get to know yourself. What do you love to do? Would you like to take a fun class somewhere? Take the time and find out. 4. I love myself, therefore: I will take care of my "house" aka my Body. We get one! Take time with it. Compliment yourself with sincerity. Be your best hype Man/Woman! Here are a few things to compliment yourself about: I have a perfect butt! Dang! I am smart! I LOVE MY THIGHS!! I love being kind...so many wonderful things to say about yourself. Why stop at just a few? You don't have to! Give yourself compliments all day. Along with gratitude & thanksgiving, watch your world change. Be excited! Be happy! There are a lot of exclamation points going on here! lol. I just want you to know what I already know...That you are worthy of love, joy, and happiness. It's all up to you. Wishing you Love and Peace...but mostly peace.
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
Before You Start!
The warm weather has begun(hopefully it stays!)and with that people become more adventurous with their exercise regiment or they start exercising period and that is all good! But before you start any of that, let me help you out with a few things free of charge; ain't I sweet? Before you start with any of these high octane exercise Group Fitness classes or DVD'S, make sure that you are ready! Have you built up your endurance? How much can you lift? How is your form? Here are some ways to find answers to all of those questions. I love and adore Group Fitness. There is nothing as great as being in a room full of people with one single thought: to SWEAT! But understand, Group Fitness is not Personal Training. It is not one on one. In a big class, you might have up to 30 people or more, so there is no way a Group X Instructor can constantly watch form. This is why before you go to the classes that have Box Jumps, Walking Lunges and Barbell Lifts, find a Beginner lifting class or better yet, a Cardio Interval class. This way you build endurance, burn fat, get toned and learn to lift in one class! Can you beat that? Nope. Always work on your level. You are in competition with no one. I can't say this enough because I have seen people focusing on other folks in class and I realized that they were competing! What the heck!? The beauty of Group Fitness is that everyone and I mean everyone is on a different level of fitness. A great Fitness Instructor knows this and will show modifications. If you just aren't sure about form and technique, this is when you hire a Personal Trainer. I know what you are thinking: "But Dawn! Personal Trainer's are so expensive(insert whine voice :)" Not true and not all. Most gyms have PT packages that are reasonable. Some Trainers will even work on a sliding scale if they feel you are serious about getting healthy. Now you can even Train with someone online! No excuses. If you hire a PT, the first two sessions should be assessments. Weight, circumference, endurance, how much you can lift, aches and pains, BMI, etc. Even if you don't hire the Trainer for long-term, you will have this information, review it and build from there. That is the whole point of assessments, to see your weaknesses and strengths, then correct and build. Whatever you do, just remember the most important thing is to listen to your body. I don't care what the Group Fitness Instructor or Personal Trainer is doing. If it doesn't feel right to you, don't do it. Your body, your time, your money. Wishing you Love and Peace, but mostly Peace!
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