OH SNAP! Let the Pain and Denial Begin!

The day started out innocently enough, doesn't it always? I felt really good that morning. Normal aches and pains are to be expected when you teach Group Fitness, I am used to them. The pain started in my right quadriceps, I thought nothing of it. When it moved to my lower back and brought me to my knee's by two pm, I took it seriously. Funny thing, pain; we forget how it can turn us into dry heaving, cold sweat filled masses of flesh. Yes, this was me. I can tell you, I don't remember how I drove home, because my right foot was about useless due to the numbness that had now gone down my leg. I do remember my Son helping me crawl out of my car and half carrying me up the stairs to my bed. I can recall the pain, worse than labor and yet familiar to me; I had been here before. Years ago I herniated two discs in my lower lumbar spine and couldn't walk at all. And though I was dragging my right leg, I was still able to hobble, there was hope! But first you must get through the pain. Let me reiterate: Funny thing, pain. See, when you have babies and you must go through labor, for some reason we forget the pain. I don't know why, but we do, hence more children! I would love to tell you that I didn't cry (The Ugly Cry), that I didn't get scared when I couldn't stand for long periods of time (I am a Trainer and Group Fitness Instructor, are you kidding me!?) that I didn't need help bathing or doing my own hair, but I would be lying. I did all of the crying that I needed to do. I had no pride and allowed my Ex-Husband to care for me and out of compassion, he did(like I said, I herniated years ago when we were still married, he knows the drill). After the drugs were dispensed and MRI taken, the diagnosis is a bulging disc. I am thinking a herniation to a bulging disc, this girl is moving up! I am so wrong. You might be wondering: "Dawn, how did you get to this point?" With a shamed face and a bowed head, I will tell you: Ignoring your body and the red flags it is throwing you. Just that simple. I saw and felt symptoms months before the fallout and I kept it movin', isn't that my motto? I canceled chiropractic appointments and massages for clients and classes. My body was warning me and I thought I knew more. That is ingratitude to the tenth degree and I am paying for it. I took a hit for the team to bring you this missive folks! Our bodies really are wonderlands and beautifully made; why ignore it? I am on the mend, physically and emotionally. Because what I know for sure; pain takes a lot out of you emotionally, just the fear of going through this again will fill you with fear if you allow it. You can't allow it. In the now famous words of one of my daughters who has Sickle Cell and is familiar with excruciating pain: "Mama, you either find a part of your body that doesn't hurt and focus on that bit of happiness OR you learn to 'ride' the pain. Make friends with it and ride the waves of pain. But this will pass Mama and you have to get up!" My child, the tyrant. :) Wishing you Love and peace, but mostly Peace

Do It.

Mortality is the fastest, clearest, most reliable teacher of what is most important to you in your own life. When faced with it, the following 30 seconds will teach you more than the previous 30 years. It is then that you will learn how difficult we make something that is so simple - LIFE  

I always wonder why we wait until the twelfth hour to do something about our weight and health. What is it with humans that we won't take our health issue's seriously until a doctor tells us we are diabetic? Or can't walk correctly, backs hurting and joints shot, THEN we take our health issue's seriously. What is that? I won't linger on that though, because we all get to where we need to be when it is our time. The first or twelfth hour, whenever, as long as you get to Change. I am guilty as well! I procrastinate on all of my doctor appointments, we won't even discuss mammograms and pap smears! I will confess my sin(s): I am two years behind. Now mind you, my Mama died of cancer, so I should be on it, right? No, maybe if I ignore it, nothing bad will happen. This is plain stupidity and fear.  I never liked being a chicken, so today I made my appointments. It is like like this with somethings, we will hate the outcome if we don't do it... but we also hate the actual Doing. I see this with people regarding exercising, changing how they eat, how they treat their bodies, too much of this and not enough of that... the list could go on. Fear is a powerful thing isn't it? I read a quote recently that said, simply, do what needs to be done and be done! Be proactive in your life, it might seem like the biggest mountain, when it is really just a molehill of fear. So, consider this short blog to be a little reminder to take care of your health, this is me harassing you, the way other's have harassed me. I thought I would share the love. Go Do what needs doing. Wishing you Love, Peace and wonderful Health! 

Relax Girl...RELAX!

As we drive through Georgia, still on our way to Florida, I realize that I am in pain; my shoulders are throbbing! Of course I immediately reach for the Motrin, then I stopped. "What is really going on?" I ask myself.  The answer came quickly: I am so used to running around(literally and figuratively) that when I am supposed to be relaxing, I don't know how! My shoulders were up to my ears, my thoughts were turned to all that I hadn't done at home before I left, Clients and classes that I had to cancel to take a much needed vacation, blah, blah, BLAH! This is typical of a lot of us, our world is full of the run around and a part of us, in my opinion, become addicted to that, to the point that when we aren't running 'crazy' we don't know what to do with ourselves. After I talked myself off of the figurative ledge, I did what I always tell others to do; Breathe, enjoy the moment, laugh, appreciate the beautiful view! I don't have to take care of everything(supreme control freak!) and guess what? Everything is going to be alright, because Bob Marley said so! As I write to you, I have candles lit, Sounds of the Season playing and an ocean view... my shoulders are down. Wishing you Love and Peace, but mostly Peace.

Fit2bFree!: Road Trip!

Fit2bFree!: Road Trip!: Out of the blue one of my very best friends decided she needed a vacation and on a whim, she asked me and another friend to take a Girls roa...

Road Trip!

Out of the blue one of my very best friends decided she needed a vacation and on a whim, she asked me and another friend to take a Girls road trip to Hutchinson Island in Florida. I want you all there with me, so here is my Road Trip Journal! Here we go. Day 1- I waited until the last minute to pack, and obviously Tracy did as well. Because when I look in the back seat of her truck, she has shoved everything into a laundry basket! Do you think someone is ready for a vacation? Once we get everything in the truck, I am very proud of myself; I actually made it out of my house with just two bags and a backpack! Hey! sue me, I love shoes! We make it, in one piece, to Indiana then Kentucky(Beautiful by the way). I have been to Indiana several times, but never Kentucky and this is where we crashed( it was a good thing, we were all getting a little grouchy and I was about to choke a fool out!) So we slept at a Marriott and had to share a bed ( thank the Lord I love my friend!) because in the middle of the night her foot decided to connect with my vagina! Really!? Must you flail about in the bed? And why do these things always happen to MY vagina?! She kicked me so hard, she woke herself up. We are on the road again and just made it into Nashville... I will keep you posted, after I eat! Wishing you peace, love and fried chicken:)

Scenes From My Bedroom Window

I love my town, I really do. It has a bad reputation and I truly believe it does just because there are a lot of ethnic people that live here. It is a suburban town that sits perfectly between two lovely cities; Chicago and Milwaukee. My town is like most small cities, high to low income, issues with the school district and the politics that surround everything; but, I love my town. I love walking down the street and seeing people working in their gardens. On one side of the street there is a man and woman working in the yard, and he has on a kilt, a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and sneakers. On the other side of the street there is a Black man wearing karate pants and a rice paddy hat! Really? All I can do is giggle as I watch the Vatos locos in their low riders, am I back in California? They give me the peace sign and I nod my head in acknowledgment and we both keep movin'. When you live in a town of different ethnic groups, there is always the lovely food to try. I can walk down the street and get real deep dish pizza, cross the street and get red snapper tacos, drive two miles down the road and order pancit and finish it off with grilled pineapple. Tonight there was an Indian wedding parade on my street! It was so colorful and beautiful. The women and men were singing and beating drums and everyone came out to watch and wave. Like with most towns nowadays, crime has risen and there seems to be a lot more cynicism, but there is also this move it and shake it up spirit ( especially among the 20 and 30 yr. old's) that is keeping most of these small cities alive. The "kids" are coming home to open their own business's and raise their families. This is what gives a town and its people hope. We live in a tough world and everyone needs a place to call home. It would be easy to segregate yourself, see the same people, narrow your vision to the point where you only see the end of your nose, but what a boring, predictable Life! Get out there and enjoy your town, make a difference in it and bloom where you are planted. Wishing you Love and Peace, but mostly Peace.

Rise Above Your Raising

"You know I'm cursed with morals. I was raised a certain way. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was raised by wolves." 
Carson Daly 

It's funny how you read something and it expresses just what you are feeling or going through at the time; almost God sent. I read this quote while pondering if I should keep a friend in my life who, by past experiences, isn't much of a friend to me. I guess you call people like this 'associates?' Yes, they have been relegated to the associate shelf. It isn't as if they are this horrible person that tosses cat's for fun; they just can't seem to rise above their raising. And the sad thing is; they don't want to. If you have never heard the phrase "Rise above your raising" let me explain it to you: some of us have parents that weren't always the best examples in certain situations. Bad habits, no coping skills and a general skewed perspective on the world and life is sometimes the legacy we inherit. If we don't learn to rise above it,we just repeat their lives. For those that don't understand and lived in a household with no issues whatsoever; look away or read and learn how the other half  has lived. Rising above your raising is a work in progress! It is NOT an easy thing to overcome. As was quoted in one of the best movies ever created, The Breakfast Club( Hey! I am an 80's kid!) When Ally Sheedy's character, Allison, says to Molly Ringwald's character, Claire, that it is inevitable that we become like our parent's, at that moment I wanted to puke. Really?! my 15 year old self thought, I will NEVER be like her, and we won't even discuss my father! Now I laugh, that was fear and teenage angst talking, I know better now. Let me tell you what I have learned: We have a choice as to how we want to be like our parents. Who knew? Some things are in our DNA, other things are learned behavior(s) and habits/patterns can be broken; but only if we are willing! My friend/associate is not ready yet and that is a conscience choice; isn't everything? Don't listen to people that tell you if it is in your 'blood' there is no changing it, they obviously don't understand how positive affirmations and a strong mind can change the world! Your world. I have learned that my mother did better than most, that she did what she thought at the moment to be the right thing. She was hard on me, I was a kid and needed and sometimes deserved it. She impressed upon me morals, integrity, and work ethic. I thought it was straight punishment! How dare she want the best for me! My mother wasn't perfection, she made mistakes that I have had to work through on my own and still do some days, but the faith that I can rise above it is always there. Once again it takes forgiveness, forgive your parents for passing on their fear(s) to you, their impatience, for exposing you to things that you were not mentally prepared for. Forgive them for ignoring you. Forgive them for their harsh words, because they probably learned all of these things from their parents and the list could go on. I just need you to know that it is possible to move forward; to rise above it, to be your own person, regardless of DNA. Acknowledge the patterns that you have picked up and carried on into your own life.  Make the decision to get help if they are affecting you negatively( that could be self-help or a psychiatrist) and rise above your raising. Wishing you Peace and Love, but mostly Peace!