Doing the Deed

I love to see people doing kind things for other people. The opening of a door, picking up something that someone dropped, or paying for someone's coffee. All acts of kindness that back in the day would have been rote; not so much in today's market, huh?  Bad news and bad behavior seem to be king and the king is doing big business. We have two types of people here: The naughty that are never nice and on the other hand the self-aggrandizing, bloated ego and oh, please stroke it! Look at what I did club. The naughty but never nice people I can deal with. We all see them for who they are, because they don't try to be anything else. There is no pretense; they are jerks. It is the other group that bothers me. I started this blog by listing a few kind things that I have seen people do for others, now imagine the same people, after doing these kind acts, running to their computers to immediately post, tweet or blog about what they had done? I have seen this happen, on a bigger scale than buying someone a cup of coffee. What do you think they get out of doing that? The ego stroke? The need to have people tell them how sweet and kind they are? So that they can actually start believing it? For a lot of people asking for any type of help is humiliating. How much more awful for them to find out that the same person they asked, in private, posted what they had done. Even if they didn't post a name, that is humiliating. Remember: A good deed, told, can be someone's shame. I speak from experience, there have been people throughout my life that have helped me in ways I would have never believed; and nothing was said after. I knew what they had done, they knew what they had done and there was no ulterior motive. They didn't need a public declaration or a medal of Good Deed Doer given to them. There are those that would say who cares if they talk after doing something nice for someone, at least they did it. I would say a part of me agrees with you, whatever the issue was, it needed to be taken care of.  But, doesn't talking about what you did and the person's problem make it gossip? And isn't gossiping... mean? So doesn't that kind of negate the good that you just tried to do? See the big snowball here? I guess at the end of the day, I need to be able to look at myself. This is why I try to deal with everyone with as much sincerity as I can muster and I hope you do the same. 
Peace and Gratitude

The P word.

As I sit here typing, watching one of my cats watch my fingers hit the keys on the keyboard; he watches my fingers, then looks at me, then looks at the monitor, with this quizzical look on his face, and I have a sense of...Peace. It took me a long time to get to this place and I cherish these moments. Do you have those moments sometimes? Where you get this overwhelming sense of calm? No matter what is going on around you, there you are on your own island of peace, floating and happy. Nothing can shake that inner peace, most of us have gone through too much to reach it and we aren't giving it up easy.  It isn't that people or situations don't get to us sometimes, our responses are just different. Now some people would call this getting older and somewhat wiser. This could be true( I don't feel THAT old though!) or is it experiencing some not so savory things that forces you to want peace in your life?  There are those that see peace and run from it.  They are addicted to the drama, they sometimes call it passion or "fun." The constant upheaval, arguments and overall bad behavior that would cause any sane person an ulcer or at least hair loss, seems a good time for some. As I am sure to them my life might seem absolutely boring, we all learn differently and I learned that I love peace. Watching my cat, Lucien, watch me typing to you, at Peace. 
Wishing you Peace and Love, but mostly Peace.  

Tears

I was in a conversation with someone the other day, and she said something that took me aback. She was relaying a story to me, that was quite emotional, she started crying and apologized for her tears. I told her no need for apology, she then said that crying made her feel weak and like a "drama queen."  I paused before I responded and allowed her to get through her moment; but then I asked: "Would you rather walk around not feeling anything?" She said that feeling, allowing people to know they hurt you was a weakness, almost like a defect. Well! That explains me and my behavior; I am defective! I have always been accused of wearing my heart on my coat sleeve, too sensitive, too open...and I wouldn't have it any other way. You see, tears, in my opinion, are my emotional gauge.  I know when I cry, I still have healing to do and when I don't, I am good and over it.  I feel cleansed after a good cry, free, relaxed and Focused. This sense of being weak in front of people just because you show emotion, is disturbing to me.  Are we so disengaged from our own feelings that another person's tears make us uncomfortable? Tears of happiness or sadness will make us scurry to a corner and cover our heads? Are we all to walk around ever so stoically and take everything on the chin, good or bad, without a peep? What is this? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? I think not.  Emotions, like situations, that we don't deal with today, we WILL deal with tomorrow. I have learned the hard way; suppression is not the key. It is a wonderful thing to grow emotionally, and you know you have when you can control not only how you feel, but how you deal with your feelings and you will also not care what other people say regarding your emotions. They are yours to care for and never neglect.