Lies and forgiveness

"Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves.  You have to trust yourself  and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you" Don Miguel Ruiz

I will not lie to you; this has been a tough two months. I won't list all that happened, but I will tell the one thing that got the crap ball rollin" my vacation money was taken and you know who I have to blame? ME! Know this: When loaning money, once out of your hands, it isn't YOUR money anymore. It might not be a loan, it might be a "gift", a donation to someone else's vacation. They will probably lie to you, deny ever knowing they had to pay it back, they might even pretend they don't know you! Most times though, it  isn't about the money, it's the mendacity, the fabrications, the tall tales, the river of crap where I have to wear high boots! Did I make myself clear? The hardest thing I have had learn is taking responsibility for how I let others behavior effect my life. It would be easy to point the finger and say how wrong everyone else is; but I put myself in situations that could have been avoided and then things would have worked in my favor.  I am not excusing, I AM taking responsibility for my part. When I thought about it, it is the same philosophy I used when I lost the weight. Take responsibility for what you eat or don't eat. Stop saying how you are too tired to exercise because of : the kids, dog, cat, too overworked, pms, etc. Own it.  I have always said to my kids: Lie to everyone else, if you must. But never lie to yourself, when you start, it never stops. Once I got over my anger at me, and threw my temper tantrums, there are three levels of temper tantrums by the way.  Did you know that? 1. In the car, with tears streaming down the face, screaming and gripping the steering wheel 2. Lying in the bed, kicking blankets while pillow is over your face, screaming. 3. In the shower, face against wall, pounding wall with fists, trying not to slip in shower. I am working on forgiveness and succeeding( I only had one relapse today!:) Exercise really does help and here is my "Forgiveness Workout" enjoy and DO! :  Warm-up of choice- 5 min.
                                              Stretch ( 2 min)
                                              Jump rope or run stairs ( 1 min)
                                              Push up(s) - basic or military 1x12
                                              Jump rope - 30 sec.
                                               crunches - 1 min
                                              Push up(s) - 1x8
                                              crunches - 2 min or best
                                              Push - up(s) 1x 16
               Plank (what's your goal? That is what you try and reach!) 
                                              Jump rope - 1 min. or best
                                run stairs or run in place ( 1 min or best) 
                                              crunches - 30 sec
              Plank - last one! Hold for 1 min. or your personal best :)    

                                                STRETCH 


                      That's it, quick and easy...  I feel better:) 
                                             
                                               

You are not your Story

I believe that everyone has a story; good or bad, we have a story to tell.  There is      nothing wrong with this; until we realize that we keep telling the same stories, and they are usually sad. Be real, how many people do you know that tell happy stories about their childhood? Past relationships? If you can name five, I am impressed!  We talk and talk about the negative, who did what to us, when and where it happened and who didn't or did take our side.  We talk so much about the bad it starts to define who we are as people. Even when we try to feel happiness, it is as if our happiness is muted. That black cloud of negativity is hanging over us, leaching the bright colors from our landscape; which is Life.  
I sigh as I write this, only because I remember feeling this way and not understanding why I couldn't break the sadness, "Cope" better as one person told me to do. Why did everyone else seem to be able to move on and live, at least decently, and not me?  I know that some of the people I spoke with had gone through similar situations as me growing up: Emotional neglect, physical and sexual abuse and yet they seemed happy.  So, I started to do a little investigation, I wanted to know what they were doing! How is it possible that you can be happy with ALL that has happened to you? Tell me... now! I was aggressive in my research and this is what I found: It isn't that they just "got over it" that doesn't happen. What does happen is that you stop talking about what was.  These happy people stopped holding the perpetrators secrets, giving them more power. They focused on healing, they focused on loving themselves and being grateful to have come through the fire. These Happy people stopped telling the stories that bound them to anger, shame and emptiness. Because these stories no longer defined who or what they are.  We, and now I can include myself with the Happy People, understand that secrets and sad stories not told in the light and then released will shackle you.  Find and be grateful for all that you have loved in your life. It is not always easy, patterns can be difficult to break; but it is so worth it.  There is so much to love, so much to see, without that dark cloud over your head dimming all the beautiful lights and colors. :)
Be Well

WORD.

1. As an entrepreneur, independent contractor or employee for someone else’s company, I have now worked for (I believe) every kind of boss, manager, supervisor, etc.  I have given them titles: The passive-aggressive Boss, The screaming in you face Bully, The ” I will pay you when I get ready” Boss, The “I will make you run me down for your money, won’t answer ANY emails or texts OR voice mail” Boss! My new favorite: The “sit around and talk about employees to OTHER employees” Boss… Classy.  When working for or around people like this it can be easy to lose yourself in the drama and shenanigans; DON’T! Take each experience and use it as a learning tool.  With every experience write down what you wouldn't do, how you wouldn't treat other people, how would you run the company? Now write down all the positive things you would do to counteract the negative. Take my word for it; it works! If you are thinking about opening your own business or decide to stay where you are; use your notes to rise above the crap(and it IS crap!) in the workplace. Believe me, the gym is no different than a corporate office, we just don’t have to wear a suit and tie. Have Integrity where you work and your reputation will proceed you. That is my rule, use it. Word.

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TRY.

Posted on August 6, 2012 by dmorris

I have learned that I need a challenge to do a lot of things; really! When I started to lose weight it was due to the fact that I couldn’t get into a really BEAUTIFUL pair of trousers that I wanted. I was challenged. I had tried everything before, of course I never stuck to any of it. But something about not being able to wear what I wanted; pushed me over the edge! I think most of us are like that; we won’t do something unless someone tells us we can’t or shouldn’t. Is that what the old saying means? “When the going gets tough, the tough get going” I believe that it is true. Some of us wait until the twelfth hour to do what we need to do. Is that true of you? I will ask the question “Why did they wait until they had diabetes to workout?” Why did they have to wait to get high blood pressure before they started to work out?” Why did I have to wait until my thighs were rubbing and my butt was as big as a door to work out?! I was no different, mine was vanity, yours might be health. Why do we wait? Why don’t we try? Why don’t we move? Only you know. I have my theories; but they are MY theories, not your circumstances. I do know this: I am a Personal Trainer and willing and able to help anyone that really wants to try to change their weight circumstance, You are not your weight nor your story. TRY change, TRY something new, even if you are scared. TRY.

Work!

The question is always what works for weight loss. We have become obsessed with what works; what pills we should take, what food combinations will help us lose, what exercises are most effective, etc. We tend to drive ourselves to distraction with all of the commercials and infomercials that constantly tell us that they have the "secret" to weight loss. They tell us to EAT MORE! EAT LESS! YOU WILL NEVER NEED TO EXERCISE AGAIN! EXERCISE MORE! Buy me! NO! Buy ME! NOOOO! BUY MEEEE!! STOP!!! these are the things that confuse and frustrate people. It's a daunting enough task when you are trying to change your Life, feel better about yourself AND get healthy.  As a Personal Trainer I really do try and keep it simple.  I Still do the things that worked for me when I was starting to lose my weight: six small meals a day, tons of water, exercise, you know the drill. These are all things you have heard before I am sure, the difficulty is not in the schedule; it's in the Doing. You might say that is a lot of food to eat, my answer to that; Small meals! When I don't have time for a sit down meal, shakes work! Which one? Always Shakeology. Fills me up, gives me energy and takes my craving for sugar down. You must eat to lose, don't let anyone tell you differently. I know what your saying right now "But Dawn, I know (insert name) and she/he lost weight doing such and such program!" I didn't say that other programs don't work, ANYTHING can and will work if you are diligent. But, are they good for you? Did they teach you to eat in "Real Time" meaning, did they teach you HOW to eat well and healthy? Or did you have to eat, breath and sleep their product and as soon as you got off of their product... did you blow UP like a balloon? I ask everyone, including myself: How's it workin' for ya? Do the things that help you live a better Life. Find and STICK with the routine, diet, exercise program that is healthy and fits You. Make it your ritual, remember this: There IS NO quick fix. Repetition produces results. I have learned that ninety-three pounds later and I still stick to it. Peace and Love :)

Motivation

I have come to the realization that some people just don't get it.  I see these postings, right, that say things like: "You could save money and time (by NOT hiring a Personal Trainer  OR joining a gym) if you buy our product" and I love when they give the calculations as to how much money you would save. What they don't seem to get and for some reason the point seems to get lost in the hype is this: It takes motivation to get off of your sofa to do a workout at home.  I don't care how good the video is, how inspiring and upbeat the instructor, if the energy is not there, you willpick up your remote and watch television and eat. Done. Raise your hand if you have owned at least four exercise dvd or vhs tapes and all they did was watch you!  We all have the best intentions, don't we? I remember when I was doing the "yo-yo thang" you know what I am talking about( if you have ever been overweight). That one week that you plan.. for the following week, to Really get down to it and BURN.IT.UP! It being fat. I mean you have the outfit ready with matching sneakers... then the week comes and you pull out the first video, and you stare at it, then you say "let me preview" so you sit and watch the video.  That is Monday. This will go on for the whole week until you feel so bad and guilty that you will pack all the videos in a box and bury it in the deepest, darkest corner of your closet.  Now don't get me wrong; I LOVE my dvds, I still have my vhs tapes! but I had to find the motivation to do them. That is where Personal Trainers and gyms come in to play. Personal Trainers ARE the motivators. We show up at your door( Yes! I have done that) when you call to cancel pretending you have a sore throat. No you don't! You are sitting on your sofa, with a clicker in your hand, unmotivated.  Watching someone come to the gym right after work is downright inspirational and smart on their part. Don't go home after work if you plan on working out, you know as well as I that once you have stepped into your home; there is no leaving it. You will be sitting on your sofa, with a clicker, unmotivated.  Stepping into the gym or a Group X class with like minded people who want to sweat and get healthy will give you a boost like no other. Pack your gym bag, put it in your car the night before, no excuses.  Believe it or not most gyms are affordable and unless you are the county club type you can find one that fits into your budget.  The cost of a trainer also depends on the gym, most are affordable.  Remember; how many times per week you see your trainer is up to you! You want to see a trainer five times a week, then get ready to pay. But to train twice a week, get the motivation you need to work out on your own and still have money in your pocket... Priceless.    So, get off the sofa, let go of the clicker, get MOTIVATED!

Friendship and Maturation

" I've seen fire and I've seen rain, I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end, I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought I would see you again"

James Taylor

When we are young we believe that all friendships will last forever. I think that when we have friends as children it really is unconditional love, they can do no wrong,you do everything together, you love everything about them and that love is reciprocated in full. So what happens? We get to middle school and the love just isn't there anymore. We won't even discuss High School! That is an Oprah Show with shots of tequila. I have gone through my memories and realized that I have met really amazing people, men and women; but they weren't ALL meant to be my friends.  I think for some of us that is a hard thing to acknowledge, why? Because as we get older we want to hold good people close. We want a circle of friends, and why not? As humans we tend to "filter" the people in our lives, not at any fault of our own; that is just life sometimes.  I had a hairdresser that told me every six months the people in your life will change, not your children or (hopefully) not your significant other, but what she called the "Fringe people." I had never heard of these people, The Fringe People( sounds like a b-movie) I did take note though, and she was right, my core group was the same, but everyone else had been filtered.  Is that what it is about then? We meet people and for the moment, be it six hours or six years, we glean what we can out of the relationship, loving each other unconditionally the way children do. Holding the ones close that hold YOU close, letting the ones go that won't even write on your Face Book Wall to say Hey! :) and being okay with both. "I've seen lonely times when I could not find a Friend" and not saying those times were easy. But in those times, you find that you are okay with being by yourself; there is a reservoir of peace and strength.  Now that I am all grown up and liking this person I am turning into, at forty(cough)something I realized, finally, that who I am; is who I attract. Be the friend to Yourself that you always wanted and attract that friend, mate, Life. At the end of the day, when others have turned away, there are no family members, no lovers, doors have been closed in dismissal and eyes and mouth turned down. You will pull from your core, you will straighten your spine and be That best friend.