So let me tell you...

I was told recently that I don't know how it feels to be overweight, that I am not compassionate enough. I stopped what I was doing and just stared at this person, I am sure they thought I had lost my mind. For a moment I might have, seeing that I couldn't get the words together, or decent words together to express what I wanted to say without swearing! So I had to break things down and let this person know a little bit about me. I was the fat kid growing up. I was the fat woman and good thing I was married to a man that loved me and big women, cause I was also the fat wife. Like most overweight kids, I was teased and tormented, mostly by family. I played at losing weight and did the yo-yo thing for some years. I topped off at 225 lbs. and didn't see it at all. I mean that, I gained and didn't see it. It was as if I had woken up and there it was and for the first time my eyes opened and BOOM! there it is. I hear a lot of people say that; that one day they just woke up...and took notice.  Scary isn't it? How we just live our lives unaware of our OWN bodies. In regards to me not being compassionate: Compassion is shown by telling the Truth.  Lies kill. I believe that with all of my heart and soul. I lied to myself for years about a lot of things and as I refused to see the truth, I kept gaining weight. If I would have kept going in that vein I would still be huge and in a perpetual state of head in the sand. Suffocating and done. I showed myself compassion and respect by telling myself, finally, the truth. And when Truth showed up, weight went away. By me being honest with myself, I can be honest with others. One of the things I stopped doing was allowing myself excuses as to why I couldn't get the weight to stay off. I don't abide excuses from Clients, because I don't allow any from myself. I can give you a list of excuses I have heard from my feet hurt to I am an "emotional /Stress eater, my back hurts(yes! so did mine. Because I was FAT!) I could go on, but why? We all need to get to the point where we own our crap. Do you understand what I am saying here? Own how we will try and sometimes do sabotage ourselves. Own it, recognize it for what it is, a load of crap, and move on! My truth is mine and yours is yours, but it is still the truth. So let me tell you, it isn't easy being totally honest with myself. There are days where I kind of miss the sand, and then I remember that prison of fat and I face forward and fly right and true. And the moral of this blog: That Truth really does set you free. Wishing you peace and love, but mostly Peace. 

Lies and forgiveness

"Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves.  You have to trust yourself  and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you" Don Miguel Ruiz

I will not lie to you; this has been a tough two months. I won't list all that happened, but I will tell the one thing that got the crap ball rollin" my vacation money was taken and you know who I have to blame? ME! Know this: When loaning money, once out of your hands, it isn't YOUR money anymore. It might not be a loan, it might be a "gift", a donation to someone else's vacation. They will probably lie to you, deny ever knowing they had to pay it back, they might even pretend they don't know you! Most times though, it  isn't about the money, it's the mendacity, the fabrications, the tall tales, the river of crap where I have to wear high boots! Did I make myself clear? The hardest thing I have had learn is taking responsibility for how I let others behavior effect my life. It would be easy to point the finger and say how wrong everyone else is; but I put myself in situations that could have been avoided and then things would have worked in my favor.  I am not excusing, I AM taking responsibility for my part. When I thought about it, it is the same philosophy I used when I lost the weight. Take responsibility for what you eat or don't eat. Stop saying how you are too tired to exercise because of : the kids, dog, cat, too overworked, pms, etc. Own it.  I have always said to my kids: Lie to everyone else, if you must. But never lie to yourself, when you start, it never stops. Once I got over my anger at me, and threw my temper tantrums, there are three levels of temper tantrums by the way.  Did you know that? 1. In the car, with tears streaming down the face, screaming and gripping the steering wheel 2. Lying in the bed, kicking blankets while pillow is over your face, screaming. 3. In the shower, face against wall, pounding wall with fists, trying not to slip in shower. I am working on forgiveness and succeeding( I only had one relapse today!:) Exercise really does help and here is my "Forgiveness Workout" enjoy and DO! :  Warm-up of choice- 5 min.
                                              Stretch ( 2 min)
                                              Jump rope or run stairs ( 1 min)
                                              Push up(s) - basic or military 1x12
                                              Jump rope - 30 sec.
                                               crunches - 1 min
                                              Push up(s) - 1x8
                                              crunches - 2 min or best
                                              Push - up(s) 1x 16
               Plank (what's your goal? That is what you try and reach!) 
                                              Jump rope - 1 min. or best
                                run stairs or run in place ( 1 min or best) 
                                              crunches - 30 sec
              Plank - last one! Hold for 1 min. or your personal best :)    

                                                STRETCH 


                      That's it, quick and easy...  I feel better:)