Scenes From My Bedroom Window

I love my town, I really do. It has a bad reputation and I truly believe it does just because there are a lot of ethnic people that live here. It is a suburban town that sits perfectly between two lovely cities; Chicago and Milwaukee. My town is like most small cities, high to low income, issues with the school district and the politics that surround everything; but, I love my town. I love walking down the street and seeing people working in their gardens. On one side of the street there is a man and woman working in the yard, and he has on a kilt, a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and sneakers. On the other side of the street there is a Black man wearing karate pants and a rice paddy hat! Really? All I can do is giggle as I watch the Vatos locos in their low riders, am I back in California? They give me the peace sign and I nod my head in acknowledgment and we both keep movin'. When you live in a town of different ethnic groups, there is always the lovely food to try. I can walk down the street and get real deep dish pizza, cross the street and get red snapper tacos, drive two miles down the road and order pancit and finish it off with grilled pineapple. Tonight there was an Indian wedding parade on my street! It was so colorful and beautiful. The women and men were singing and beating drums and everyone came out to watch and wave. Like with most towns nowadays, crime has risen and there seems to be a lot more cynicism, but there is also this move it and shake it up spirit ( especially among the 20 and 30 yr. old's) that is keeping most of these small cities alive. The "kids" are coming home to open their own business's and raise their families. This is what gives a town and its people hope. We live in a tough world and everyone needs a place to call home. It would be easy to segregate yourself, see the same people, narrow your vision to the point where you only see the end of your nose, but what a boring, predictable Life! Get out there and enjoy your town, make a difference in it and bloom where you are planted. Wishing you Love and Peace, but mostly Peace.

Rise Above Your Raising

"You know I'm cursed with morals. I was raised a certain way. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was raised by wolves." 
Carson Daly 

It's funny how you read something and it expresses just what you are feeling or going through at the time; almost God sent. I read this quote while pondering if I should keep a friend in my life who, by past experiences, isn't much of a friend to me. I guess you call people like this 'associates?' Yes, they have been relegated to the associate shelf. It isn't as if they are this horrible person that tosses cat's for fun; they just can't seem to rise above their raising. And the sad thing is; they don't want to. If you have never heard the phrase "Rise above your raising" let me explain it to you: some of us have parents that weren't always the best examples in certain situations. Bad habits, no coping skills and a general skewed perspective on the world and life is sometimes the legacy we inherit. If we don't learn to rise above it,we just repeat their lives. For those that don't understand and lived in a household with no issues whatsoever; look away or read and learn how the other half  has lived. Rising above your raising is a work in progress! It is NOT an easy thing to overcome. As was quoted in one of the best movies ever created, The Breakfast Club( Hey! I am an 80's kid!) When Ally Sheedy's character, Allison, says to Molly Ringwald's character, Claire, that it is inevitable that we become like our parent's, at that moment I wanted to puke. Really?! my 15 year old self thought, I will NEVER be like her, and we won't even discuss my father! Now I laugh, that was fear and teenage angst talking, I know better now. Let me tell you what I have learned: We have a choice as to how we want to be like our parents. Who knew? Some things are in our DNA, other things are learned behavior(s) and habits/patterns can be broken; but only if we are willing! My friend/associate is not ready yet and that is a conscience choice; isn't everything? Don't listen to people that tell you if it is in your 'blood' there is no changing it, they obviously don't understand how positive affirmations and a strong mind can change the world! Your world. I have learned that my mother did better than most, that she did what she thought at the moment to be the right thing. She was hard on me, I was a kid and needed and sometimes deserved it. She impressed upon me morals, integrity, and work ethic. I thought it was straight punishment! How dare she want the best for me! My mother wasn't perfection, she made mistakes that I have had to work through on my own and still do some days, but the faith that I can rise above it is always there. Once again it takes forgiveness, forgive your parents for passing on their fear(s) to you, their impatience, for exposing you to things that you were not mentally prepared for. Forgive them for ignoring you. Forgive them for their harsh words, because they probably learned all of these things from their parents and the list could go on. I just need you to know that it is possible to move forward; to rise above it, to be your own person, regardless of DNA. Acknowledge the patterns that you have picked up and carried on into your own life.  Make the decision to get help if they are affecting you negatively( that could be self-help or a psychiatrist) and rise above your raising. Wishing you Peace and Love, but mostly Peace!