Take A Minute

 "Sometimes you have to take a step back to move forward"

There are moments in life when there is nothing to say or do. 

When you have nothing to say. 

When words and energy have dried up. 

Vocally, for pen, for paper, or the energy for nonsense. 

Including your own. 

I call these moments "Mental Pauses."

They used to annoy me.

Haven't we all been raised to believe that if we aren't scurrying about, we aren't being productive? 

Like hamsters on a wheel, we don't stop.

Where does the wheel go? Are you having fun on that "wheel"?

I have so many questions!

Inquire of oneself: (the conversation could go like this) 

"Self?" (you can respond...I recommend doing this in your head)

"Are you still enjoying your life?"

"Do you still find joy in your work?"

"And if not; why?"

"What can I do, in this moment, to bring joy back?"

All of these questions I asked myself.

And so, my mental pause began.

The stepping back so that I could step forward.

"Working on problems and self-examination is a sign of strength."

Dana Reeve

There is greatness and contentment in being honest with oneself. 

Self-assess, what in your life is worth keeping or giving away?

This is like cleaning a closet! Time-consuming. 

Creating giveaway piles, a for-keeps pile, and then wondering why you bought certain things(that dress was a good idea?).

There isn't another feeling like dropping excess baggage. 

Step down.

Step back.

Rest if you need to. 

It is giving a gift of joy and freedom to yourself.

Take a minute... how about two?

"I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect."

Maya Angelou

Wishing you love and peace...But mostly, Peace. 

Peace, Be Still And Ponder

"To be able to sit with oneself...with your thoughts, or no thoughts at all. 

Stillness.

Allowing peace to reign free."

Stillness - Without movement or sound

Stillness (Hindi) - Peace, serenity, calmness, tranquility

Sometimes we get caught in the madness of the world.

It is part and parcel of being human.

We argue, vent, get our feelings hurt, take a break, dust ourselves off, then jump back into the fray. 

Just writing that wore me out. 

I wrote some time ago something my mother used to ask me:
"Would you rather be right, or would you rather have peace?" Being a sarcastic teenager, I would respond "I want to be right!" She would respond this way "Then you will never have peace." 

She was right. 

For a long time, I didn't.

Time, experience, getting hurt, and seeing the damage my own bad behaviors have wrought, made me pause.

I had no choice but to be still and ponder...

Ponder - To think about something carefully, especially before making a decision or coming to a conclusion.

Do you ponder?

It's a precious and beneficial skill set.

 Be still and think deeply before making a rash decision, or saying something you will probably regret. Take a deep breath(two is even better!)and ask yourself "Do I want peace, or do I want to be right?"

Entering the fray is not necessary. And if you feel it is, why? 

Introspection. 

Accountability.

Honesty.

Be still and ponder. 

"If you want peace in your life, you have to stop declaring war."

S. L. Alder

Yeah, that was said. 

The biggest "war" we have, is with ourselves.

When we declare peace, a truce if you will, with ourselves, it becomes easier to find peace with others. I promise you!

Your peace is not expendable.

The war stops with you.

Be still.

Wishing you peace and love... But, mostly...Peace. 

Do You Believe The Lie?

There are people who say that you can't be happy unless you have gone through adversity. They say you can't be strong without struggle and if you have never struggled you don't know true happiness. 

This quote sums up everything I am talking about: 

"The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell."

Really?! Is this the Struggle Olympics? I didn't know we were in a competition to see how bad life can get. 

Lies, all lies. 

That is a belief in the "Struggle Culture."

Let me tell you something that you might already know: Stress, struggling, oppression, kills. Study after study has shown and documented the adverse effects of stress on the Brain, body, emotions, etc. 

So how does the Struggle Culture help you? It doesn't.

But do you believe the lie that it does?

That is the most important question. Because what we believe to be true, we will manifest in our life. 

Have you ever spoken to someone who has been through horrible, life altering experiences? I have and I am sure you have as well. What always amazed me was how I never heard from any of them was this statement "I am so happy that I went through all of that pain because I wouldn't be who I am today!" 

What I have heard is this: "I did go through all of those things. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. I have learned to cope with my memories and scars, but I could have done without the pain." And most importantly, what I have learned from these individuals, is how they have chosen their happiness above anything else. They don't roll in misery and the struggle, the hustle, or the grind. They don't just survive, they thrive! 

We were created to thrive.

We were meant for happiness.

But you must believe this and take action!

How?

"What you are looking for is not out there. It is in you."

There are some things in life that we can't control. But we can control our feelings, our actions, our self-talk, how we decide to "move" in life. 

I know it isn't easy to change what we've been taught by society at large, but it is doable. There can be happiness without struggle. There can be happiness after struggling. There can be happiness! 

Believe. 

"The habits you created to survive will no longer serve you when it's time to thrive. Get out of survival mode. New habits, new life."

Wishing you love and peace... but mostly, Peace. 

RAZZLE! DAZZLE! The Hype of the Diet Industry

"A huge part of losing weight is believing you can do it and realizing it's not going to happen overnight." 

I was 225 pounds. I was 225 lbs. I was 225 pounds overweight. And no matter how I said it or wrote it, I was 225 pounds and didn't remember how I gained it. Over time it was just there! I don't remember saying "Wow, I sure am gaining weight!" or "Girl! Maybe one more biscuit isn't the smartest thing right now?" No, I looked in the mirror and there it was. But I am not here to talk about my past fat. I am here to discuss how, if you don't watch it, you will get caught up in the razzle-dazzle of the diet industry. That huge money making beast of a thing! "DON'T EAT FRUIT!" "DON'T EAT CARBS!" "ONLY EAT OUR PROCESSED FOOD(Can you call it food??)" "ONLY EAT PROTEIN!" So many rules. A lot of them made up as they go. Out of desperation and wanting instant results millions fall for this. But here is the deal; it took time gaining the weight. Do you really think in a couple of weeks it will be gone? That is a lot of pressure on yourself and not realistic goals. So then you have the burnout coupled with disappointment. You get a gym membership, sign up for all the Group Fitness Classes, get your protein shakes and start starving yourself! Don't deny it! You know I speak from experience. I would workout and do exercises(or try)that were too advanced while not eating correctly. I would be so sore and hungry after two weeks that I would burn out. Why do you think gym memberships during the month of January is so high? Because everyone is doing what I once did. Then around March people become disenchanted with Gym life. Not because they don't want change, they aren't getting the results they want. And they truly don't know what to do! This is where I come in (exciting huh?) Here are a few tips to help you out on your Health/Fitness Journey. I keep it real. I understand that everyone's body is different and what worked for me, might not work for you. Now with that said, there are some things that are basic rules that work for everyone! A Squat is a squat, and eating vegetables is still good for all. 

1. Set realistic goals. Why are you trying to lose 25lbs in two weeks? It isn't going to happen. And if it does...go see a Doctor! You should have weekly and  monthly goals. Write down where you want to be and what you want to see in regards to your health and fitness in a years time.

2. Use common-sense. 

Read that again. 

There are so many diets out there. So many I can't count. But I can count how many are good for you! Not many. If it feels wrong, it is.  

3. You must eat to lose. 

Facts. Real Food revs up your metabolism. That burns fat for you all day! Don't stop the burn, EAT! These diets are very trendy and like all trends, they fade away, but your fat won't. It will come right back. Why? Because you will still have an unhealthy relationship with food. Change your mind about how you view food and how you eat, then watch the weight come off and stay off. If you just can't figure out how to do this, please see a Nutritionist. 

4. Accept where you are now. 

I can't say it enough(and if you read my blogs, you know I have said it a lot)negative self-talk dismantles all of the good you are trying to accomplish. Plus, it's boring to listen to after awhile. If this is a habit that you have, ask yourself why you do it? Are you fishing for compliments? Do you really believe those horrible things you say about yourself? I don't think you do, so stop. 

5. Exercise is required! No ifs, and's or buts. Three to four times a week. Can you do 30 minutes of Cardio? Make yourself do it. No excuses. Put your earbuds on and walk. 

6. If push comes to shove and you can't make yourself move, it's Personal Trainer time! A Personal Trainer is your accountability partner. We get you up when you don't have the wherewithal to do it for yourself. It is our job to push you and help you become your better self. I call it love. So there you have it. A few tips to help you out and get you ready and hyped for this journey you are on. There is so much to be excited about! You have made the decision to take control of your health. What is there not to love about this? Questions? Concerns? Reach out to me here: bodysoiree@yahoo.com or here: https://twitter.com/Dawnsfit2bfree
Shoot me a question and I wish all of you Love and Peace, but mostly...Peace. 

Pieces

 "And you give yourself away...and you give yourself away...

And you give.

And you give."

"With or Without You"

U2

Sometimes we have been broken into pieces.

Sometimes we have been broken into pieces and don't know how to put ourselves back together.

We can get used to being this broken thing.

It is almost as if we find "comfort" in the brokenness. 

So much so, that when we have moments of inner peace, 

we give ourselves over to drama.

We will give ourselves away to the undeserving. 

To the ungrateful.

We give in and to the brokenness. 

"Sit down.

Breathe."

Me

We are in charge of this miracle called breathing.

How fast or slow we breathe is up to us. 

We control this.

Think about that. 

It is amazing to me that we have all of this control over our bodies but feel we can't control our thoughts and feelings! 

Sit down with yourself.

Sift through the broken pieces.

One by one. 

Decide which ones you are ready to mend.

Visualize creating a new picture of yourself(possibly in canvas instead of glass? :). 

Which pieces, at this moment, are you ready to burn(all figurative! You all don't be burning down stuff for real:)? 

"It is better to live as a broken piece of Jade than to live as useless clay."

Bruce Lee 

Jade is beautiful. 

Even broken, the deepness of the green, the calmness you feel looking at it, and the smoothness of the stone can bring you peace. 

This is you.

Perfect, in your imperfection. 

Possibly a little broken, a little bruised.

Yet and still, beautiful.

What you create from these broken parts is up to you.

That is true power.

You are the Artist of your life.

Take the broken parts, the ones you choose and create something beautiful.

"Set fire to the broken pieces; start anew."

Lauren DeStefano

I want you to know, it took me years to use the word broken in connection to myself or anyone else.

The idea of being broken offended me. 

I took it as an insult and the questioning of my mental fortitude.

I was also in denial.

It's okay to laugh, I do. 

With time, acceptance, and the willingness to sit with the brokenness, I realized that we don't have to stay broken.

Some days will be harder than others.

That's alright, you got this!

Sit.

Breathe.

Sift through the pieces, one by one.

The hardest part is over.

You owned your brokenness.

Now, come on Humpty, let's put you back together. 

Wishing you peace and love, but mostly...Peace. 

Decide.

 “WHAT I'M TELLING YOU IS, IF YOU WANT TO DO THINGS YOUR OWN WAY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION - YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIND A LITTLE COURAGE.”

― John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

It takes courage to make decisions.

You won't always have people rah-rah-ing you or high fiving you at the finish line. 

Especially when it involves self-care.

And that is okay. 

Do you slap yourself on the shoulder every so often and give yourself the nod of approval? 

Well, you should!

We, as ever-changing Humans, can be our worst critics and our biggest heroes. 

Be your hero. 

"Sometimes, you're all you have" -

and sometimes that's all you need.

Anonymous

The last four months have been...interesting.

I would dare to say difficult. 

Why?

I took on clients where I saw so much potential. 

I knew they had it in them to change.

To receive everything they said they wanted.

The problem was...they couldn't see it!

They couldn't get past the lies they fed(excuse the pun)themselves. 

To step out of the box they had put themselves in and see the truth of who they are. 

They weren't ready to be their own Hero. 

Where do you stand?

Do you rank high on your list of priorities? 

Do you listen to what people have said or are saying about you?

Do you allow other people to deter/discourage you from making necessary changes?  

When you make decisions(do you?)regarding your self-care, do you choose what is in your best and highest interests? 

Take the time to evaluate and assess. 

This doesn't have to be hard.

Just decide. 

Stay low, stay quiet, keep it simple, don't expect too much, enjoy what you have.Dean Koontz
Decide who you want to be. 

I don't say that lightly.

But it was my first step to self-approval. 

At any weight!

I decided who I was.

Where I wanted to be.

How I wanted to be.

And I try to live with intention.

With mistakes along the way, and that is also okay. 

This is to encourage you to do the same. 

I am going to leave you with a blueprint of sorts.

Write it out and allow change to happen.

Wishing you Love & Peace...but mostly, Peace. 

1. Work on loving yourself, right now, at this moment 

 

2.  Have quiet time with yourself (time out!)

 3.   If you aren't willing to do the work for change, stop complaining. 

 

 4. Big thighs, save lives! Love your thighs. Love your face. Love your butt. Need I say more? Okay, I will: LOVE YOURSELF!

5. Speak kind words to yourself and try, to others. 

6. Admit when you need help and then get it. 

 

It Goes On

 “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

 Robert Frost.

I, like you, have read the Think pieces about all of the turmoil that the world, meaning us, went through this past year. The civil and racial unrest. The pandemic, job, and food insecurity...shall I go on? I know I don't need to. You get it. And while all of these things were happening, and it's clear they aren't being made up. Did you notice how life kept going on? One day followed another, and this beautiful Earth didn't explode. Maybe someday's we wanted the world to stop. But it didn't. With grumbling and some frustration, we got up and got things done. With kids home and some of us having to take in extended family, we got up and got things done. Life moves on. 

"Anything you can't control is teaching you how to let go."

Jackson Kiddard

Not being in control can feel scary. This past year has shown, that when people feel they have no control externally, they lose self-control. When you take the time to sit with yourself and think, what exactly do you control? Wait! Don't worry, this isn't me trying to be deep. I mean, who wants that? :) But know, the control is within us. This pandemic reinforced what I thought I already knew: How you take care of yourself, and your loved ones is the control you have. How you move in this world and present yourself, is control. When we take care of these important things, it's amazing how everything else falls into place. Does that sound too simplistic? Is it negating all of the world's angst? Not at all. But is the answer running down the street, yanking at our hair, screaming "THE PANDEMIC IS HERE AND YOU ARE ALL GOING TO LOSE YOUR JOBS AND GO HUUUUNGGRRYYY!!" Yeah, that will get you invited to next year's neighborhood barbeque. Self-control is part of the self-care bundle. When everyone is running around, maskless, and no social distancing to be seen, you'll be that one. Scared, probably, but with their ducks in a row. Controlling what you can, in-house, and everything else can work itself out.  

"Life is like the waves on the ocean, it keeps going."

Unknown

I decided a while back that if life was going to move on, with or without me, I might as well move on with it. Gently and with less complaining. Which was hard because I am such an awesome complainer! It's a talent. I am not prescient. I don't know what's coming around the corner of tomorrow. But I work with what I have. That is my advice to you. Send out positive vibes, even when the world wants to pull you with your good vibes down. Keep going! Work with what you have and believe when no one else will.

 I wish you all love and peace, but mostly, Peace!